Backers of intelligent design say it is a theory with scientific backing. According to dissident linguist and itinerant preacher Immanuel Quierbaiter, who plans to testify at the hearings in favor of intelligent design, “Anyone who takes an unbiased look at the intricacies of the English language as detailed in Harvey’s English Grammar will see that it shows evidence of having been carefully designed for its communicative purpose. It is beyond belief that such a system could have simply evolved through random processes of change.”
Historical evidence of such processes of change has been refuted, he claims: “There are gaps in the literary record that the linguistic evolutionists have never explained.”
Opponents of the theory, however, believe that it represents an attempt to smuggle religion into English classes. Said Dr Liberman: “If intelligent linguistic design is a viable theory, it should be defended through articles in peer-reviewed journals, not lobbied for politically in school boards.”
Update: Apparently, there were people who didn’t realize it was satire.